LYRICS
You Don't Have To Be Skinny
To Be Sexy
Porn Queen
Censorship
Orbit
tv
Hemp Revolution
Mr. Cheapskate
Dick Control
Hippy-Crit
The Hippy Song
Who Asked You?
Lazybones
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YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE SEXY
© 1997 cosmic egg
You don’t have to be skinny to be sexy
You don’t have to be blonde to be sexy
You don’t have to have long legs to be sexy
You don’t have to have dreadlocks to be sexy
- but it helps! -
And you don’t have to be skinny to be sexy
Now guys,
You don’t have to have a big dick to be sexy
You don’t have to drive a fast car to be sexy
You don’t have to play bass to be sexy
- but it helps! -
And you don’t have to be skinny to be sexy
You’ve gotta ooooze . . .
You’ve got to use it, to ooze it
And you’ve got to ooze it to seduce it
And I know how you love to peruse it
But if you choose, to use the ooze, don’t abuse
it
Some people use booze to ooze
And they end up under the table having a snooze
But the best way to ooze is to just cruise along,
feeling strong,
taking in your stride whatever, comes along
You can’t conceal, your sex appeal, if you feel
it
You don’t have to have big breasts to be sexy
You don’t have to have big muscles to be sexy
You don’t have to have surgery to be sexy
And you don’t have to be skinny to be sexy
But you do have to be sensual to be sexy
You do have to be wild to be sexy
You do have to ooze to be sexy
But you most definitely, do not, have to be
skinny, to be,
sexy!?
PORN QUEEN
©1999 cosmic egg
She’s a porn queen, it’s a very weird scene
Spreading her legs for some dirty magazine
Yeah, she’s a porn queen, she likes to be obscene
Baring it all on my computer screen
I just logged on, I type in sex
There’s thousands of sites to go to next
I choose one at random and they want me to pay
They ask for my age, I click back O.K.
I go to the next one, this time I score
There’s thousands of pictures, but still I want
more
Like a bitch in heat, I can’t get enough
I’m searching through pages of really sick stuff
Hardcore action, and fetishes too
Bondage and orgies, is nothing taboo
But then I see her, an angel’s face
In this sleazy world, she seems out of place
‘Cause she’s a porn queen, it’s a very weird
scene
Spreading her legs for some dirty magazine
Yeah she’s a porn queen, and she likes to be
obscene
DVDA if you know what I mean
‘Cause she’s a porn queen, that’s all she’s ever
been
Gettin’ it on for some dirty magazine
Yeah she’s a porn queen, and she likes to be
seen
Turning me on through my computer screen
This girl on the screen has a life somewhere
She has thoughts and feelings, does anyone care?
(x2)
Perversion comes from suppression, and this in
turn feeds my obsession (x4)
‘Cause she’s a porn queen, and that’s all she’s
ever been
Gettin’ it on for some dirty magazine
Yeah she’s a porn queen, and she likes to be
seen
Turning me on through my computer screen
Porn queen
Porn queen
She's my porn queen
CENSORSHIP
©1999 cosmic egg
Have you ever really wanted to say something
but you held your tongue
Because you were too scared of what
people would think of you (x2)
‘Cause if you speak your mind you’ll offend someone
You’ll rock the boat and create a scene
So we speak in riddles and dance around the truth
But when’s the last time that we said what we
mean
Sucked in, you just became your own –
Sucked in, you just became your own –
Sucked in mate, you just became your own –
your own censor – oh yeah –
you just became your own
Censorship – no fucking way!
Don’t try and tell me what I can say
(x4)
I reckon censorship’s fucked!
Don't say that. They'll ban the CD!
No they won't. They're too busy watching pornos
in Canberra.
That's rude! If you can’t say something nice
then don’t say anything at all.
But they tried to censor the internet. They're
morons.
You go wash your mouth out with soap young man.
As if. I’ll say what I want.
What will people think?
Who gives a shit?
Shhh
Someone might be listening . . .
Poo Bum Wiss, Poo Bum Wiss
‘Cause we’re not allowed to say
Shit Arse or Piss
(x2)
I have no desire to say what you expect
And don’t give me that crap about politically
correct
Who are we to judge our thoughts and say what’s
right or wrong
Why don’t we make our own rules up as we go along
Censorship – no fucking way!
Don’t try and tell me what I can say
(x4)
ORBIT
©1999 cosmic egg
As the sun sets the full moon rises
Enticing an evening of surprises
They move in a dance of their own
He’s the fire, she’s the snow
He leads her round and round and round she goes
The universe is a neverending dancefloor
With galaxies spinning around and around and
around
I like to swing and sway, with the Milky Way,
The planets are groovin’ to that funky sound
The sun is our D.J., he’s got the heat
He gets us dancing and moving with that burning
beat (x2)
Groovin’ on a dancefloor of stars
The Earth, the moon, Jupiter and Mars
We dance across a starry sky
We get down, moon gets up, tide gets high
(x2)
Watch for the shooting star, and watch your step
‘Cause there’s a black hole waiting to get you
yet
They dance for us night after night, from sunset
to morning light
The sun rises day after day, chasing all the
stars away – hey!
Groovin’ on a dancefloor of stars
The Earth, the moon, Jupiter and Mars
We danced across a starry sky
We got down, sun comes up, my brain is fried
Groovin’ on a dancefloor of stars
The Earth, the moon, Jupiter and Mars
We danced across a starry sky
We got down, sun comes up, I’m feeling
wired
tv
© 1999 cosmic egg
Have a look at what’s real
and see if what you’ve been thinking
is what you really feel . . .
Why do people watch TV, for hours every day
How can we think for ourselves when this shit gets in
the way
Information overload, no resistance to the flow
And we carry these ideas with us everywhere we go
Do we question what we’re told, the lies behind the veils
Independent thought inevitably fails
And desire to have more is what always prevails
It tells us what to think, it tells us how to feel
It tells us what to wear, it tells us what’s real
Programming, televising, lies coverage, advertising
Is it any wonder half the population’s depressed
Do we tow the line, or risk rejection from our peers
Advertising jingles are ringing in my ears
. . . they're playing on
my fears
Desensitized response from information overload
It starts with cartoon violence in the home
Who’s calling the shots, who’s behind the scenes
Who finally decides what gets shown
It tells us what to think, it tells us how to feel
It tells us what to wear, it tells us what’s real
Programming, televising, lies coverage, advertising
Is it any wonder half the population’s depressed
Depressed
Suppressed
Buy this, buy that - too thin, too fat
- No way, fuck that!
If I see one more ad for McDonalds, I’m gonna scre-e-eam-
Do we question what we’re told, the lies behind the veils
Independent thought inevitably fails
And desire to have more is what always prevails
HEMP REVOLUTION
© 2001 cosmic egg
Hemp has been used by humans for
over 10,000 years
Today it could replace the timber, cotton and petrochemical industries
Paper - hemp's better than trees
The fibres are stronger and it grows like a weed
Food - you can eat the seeds
Second only to soybeans in nutritional needs
Clothing - hemp's the way
Cotton uses half of all pesticide spray
Hemp hardly needs any
It's against the law - what for?
It's against the law - what for?
It's against the law - what for?
It's against the law - what for?
Oil - hemp seed is fantastic
For burning and cooking, diesel or plastic
Ethanol - it's the cleanest fuel
It's made from plants, end OPEC's rule
"ethanol could replace all of our transport fuel needs"
Medicine - it eases migraines
Glaucoma, anxiety, and period pains
Packaging - hemp can do it all
It biodegrades and it's edible
Hemp's got what it takes, so stop putting on the brakes
Hemp has the solution, to cleaning up pollution
We'd all be having a good time, if hemp wasn't such a bad crime
Hemp has got the answer, so jump out of your pants-ah!
It's against the law - what for?
It's against the law - what for?
1937 - Du Pont patents a process of making paper from trees, and nylon and
plastics from oil and coal.
Meanwhile machines had just been invented that simplified the process of
making paper from hemp, which was on the verge of becoming a billion dollar
industry.
William Randolph Hearst owner of Americas largest media empire of the day, also
owned vast areas of timberland.
He began running stories linking marijuana with violent crime, and the 1938
film, "Reefer Madness".
This campaign led to marijuana being made illegal.
The congressmen who passed the bill didn't realise marijuana and hemp were the
same plant.
It's against the law - who for?
It's against the law - who for?
It's against the law - who for?
It's against the law - who for?
Clothing, shoes, socks and shirts, Pants, sandals, undies, uniforms, skirts
Rope, sails, canvas and flags, Hats, wallets, backpacks, scarves and bags
Bodies and fuel for cars and planes, Cosmetics, paint, soap and cellophane
Firewood, diesel and ethanol Plastic bags, bottles, buckets and blow-up dolls
MR. CHEAPSKATE
©1999 cosmic egg
You know what? My man, he took me out last
night. And we had dinner and saw a movie
– and we made love. It was so romantic – wasn’t
it baby?
It sure was baby. Oo yeah. Oo yeah.
We had toasted cheese sandwiches, and we watched
videos from the local library.
And we drank cask wine. D'you know what you are
babe?
What’s that baby?
You’re a tightarse!
A tightarse?
Yeah you're a tightarse.
I’m thrifty!
No you're not you’re just cheap.
Cheap?
Yeah you're cheap, in fact d'you know who you
are?
Mr. Cheapskate – Who me? Whada ya talking
about?
Mr. Cheapskate – She's not talking about me.
Mr. Cheapskate – I’ll just drink water
thanks
Mr. Cheapskate – And could we pay separately
please
Cheap bastard! . . Scrooge! . . Bargain! . .
Tightarse!
Mr. Cheapskate? – I'm sorry I don't have
any change on me right now
Mr. Cheapskate? – but ah, can I bum a
cigarette off ya’ man
Mr. Cheapskate – You owe me a dollar twenty
Mr. Cheapskate – Free food! Where? What?
Is it free, is it free?
‘Cause that would financially suit me.
Is it free, is it free? Cause he never spends
any money. . .
Uh! . . Pyow! . . Bo-ke! . . Ow!
Is it free, is it free?
‘Cause that would financially suit me.
Is it free, is it free? Cause he never spends
any money. . .
Mr. Cheapskate – Um, is there a concession price
on that?
Mr. Cheapskate – It’s 50 cents cheaper around
the corner.
Mr. Cheapskate –Are their any $2 shops around
here?
Mr. Cheapskate – Don't worry I’ll get one second
hand.
Who are you calling me cheapskate
You've got no right to call me that, butt
I'm a tightarse - oo yeah he's a tightarse
I'm a tightarse - he's a tightarse
I'm a tightarse - both butt cheeks firmly
clenched together
I'm a tightarse - oh yeah he's a tightarse
Is it free, is it free?
‘Cause that would financially suit me.
Is it free, is it free? Cause he never spends
any money. . .
. . . oh, mr cheapskate . . . yeah, yeah, yeah
. . .
I never spend any money
DICK CONTROL
©1998 cosmic egg
Hi babe, I’m home.
We've been in the studio all day long it's been a very
long day,
and I do think that we deserve a big fat joint.
What say you just roll us up a big fat scooby-dooby babe?
Honey?
Why don't you just roll us up a nice big trumpet? Babe?
I don't think he's listening to me.
Babe are you listening to me?
BABE - ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME ! ? !
Oh sorry . . . sorry, I wasn’t listening I was . .
. I was thinking about my dick. What?
I wasn’t listening, I was thinking about my dick
I never listen, I'm a lowdown sexfiend prick
He wasn’t listening, he was thinking about John Thomas
He never listens, I will next time, I promise!
I’ll make him listen, I know what makes him tick
To catch his ear I’ve got this clever little trick
- SEX - huh?
Ooh baby, you’re looking mighty fine
You sure know how to give a girl, a really hard time -
ooh
I love it the way you play the bass, you've really got
the rhythm
You'd really be the perfect man, if you'd just learn how
to listen - ooh
He only listens, when he thinks that he’s in luck
This guys on dick control, all he really wants is a -
ooh
If it looks like he’s listening, well it’sa really just
a front
To catch his ear, I’ve got this cunning little stunt
Watch this . . . this’ll get his attention . . . don’t
you worry about that . . .
this’ll get him . . . works every time . . . I got him
now . . . watch this . . . I got him now
Pussy
Pussy yeah
(All he wants is) Pussy
(All I want is) Pussy yeah
I want some - what do you want now honey child?
I need some - what do you need now baby?
I want some - ooh
I wasn’t listening, I was thinkin' about you're pussy
I never listen, I’m a feral new age wussie
He wasn’t listening, he was thinking about his willy
He never listens, it gets small when it gets chilly
I’ll make him listen, I know what makes him tick
To catch his ear, I’ve got this clever little trick
Pussy
Pussy yeah
(All he wants is) Pussy
(All I want is) Pussy yeah
I want some pussy
I need some pussy
I want some pussy - yeah
Pussy
Pussy yeah
(All men wants is) Pussy
(All men want is) Pussy yeah
HIPPY-CRIT
©2000 cosmic egg
We hate the government, but we like the dole
We hate Myers, but we shop at Coles
Boycott McDonalds, the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks
Save the wildlife, have you fed the cats?
‘Cause we’re the fun, funny, funky, feral freakshow
Say no to plastic bags, we use styrofoam
Cancel third world debt, but can you give me a loan?
Fuck the police, but only if they’re cute
Is that a gun in your pocket, or you looking for a root?
‘Cause we’re the fun-filled, free-lovin’, feral freakshow
Save the trees, that’s our caper
But our protest flyers are printed on Reflex paper
Subvert the dominant paradigm, what does that mean?
Shoot John Howard, and grope the queen
‘Cause we’re the fun-filled, free-lovin’, feral freakshow
Religion’s a pain in the arse, especially for the altar
boy
We’re vegetarian, but I eat your meat
I like beef curtains, he only gets them as a treat
Stop testing on animals, try using junkies
They like the needles, and they’re cheaper than monkeys
‘Cause we’re the fun, funny, funky feral freakshow
THE HIPPY SONG
© 1999 cosmic egg
Sitting here drinking herbal tea,
My dreads are really special to me
And my piercings too, aren’t they cool,
I’ve got one through my eyebrow and
one through my tool
‘Cause I’m a hippy, and my friends have cool
names,
Like Rainbow, and Sprinkle, and
Starlight, and J, J, James
- oh james has changed his name to “love poetry
on the full moon”
- oh what a dickhead
It’s really trippy, in the twilight zone
After 8 tabs of acid, and 35 cones
Like wow man, I’m freaking out!
I shouldn’t have had that 35th cone,
man
Like wow man, this is such a heavy trip,
I tried to take a leak but I can’t
find my zip
Come hang out with us, we’ll eat tofu and rice
But if you come too close you’ll get herpes
and lice
Peace, Love, and mung beans man
They’ll make you fart like a trooper
and run to the can
‘Cause I’m a hippy, and I smoke the best gear
I’ve been on the dole for 25 years
It’s really trippy, when you're chained to
a tree
for four days straight til your mate
finds the key
Like wow man, the car broke down
But if we all give it reiki we can still
get to town
Like wow man, dreads have real class
And when you run out of toilet paper you can still
wipe your arse
Like wow man
WHO ASKED YOU?
© 1998 cosmic egg
We like smoking, the wicked wicked weed
We grow big buds from a tiny seed
And if you don’t like what I do, who asked you?
Well the buds are sticky now it’s time to smoke
I roll a scoob and have a big fat toke
And if you don’t like what we do, who asked you?
- breathe solo –
Well I flick the roach and I’m feeling fine
Kicking back and losing track of time
And if you don’t like what we do,
I don’t remember asking you
- kazoo solo -
Well the munchies set in and we head for the
door
We’re heading down to the convenience store
And if you don’t like what we do, who asked you?
We mosie on down to the 7 – 11
My God, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven
And if you don’t like what we do, who asked you?
We get chocolate and doughnuts and corn chips
with chives
Keeps us going ‘til the pizza arrives
And if you don’t like what we do,
I don’t remember asking you
- kazoo solo –
We eat bread rolls and ice cream with cherries
on top
My god I eat until I'm ready to pop
And if you don’t like what we do, who asked you?
What, was that I, um
What was that I was talking about?
What, what was, I was singing about something
Well we go to bed with an aching belly
After watching eight hours of telly . . .
And if you don’t like what we do
I said, if you don’t like what we do
Oh, if you don’t like what we do,
I don’t remember asking you
LAZYBONES
© 2000 cosmic egg
He’s lazy, I'm lazybones
He lies on the couch just pulling cones
When it’s time for the dishes, I’m off to
the dunny
I sit there for hours, fuck it’s funny
I’m lazy – yes Clint is the only man alive
with rigor mortis – He’s a stiff!
He could have Elle McPherson doing a strip tease
in front of him and he’d be too lazy to get it up
Hey I’m lazybones not lazyboner!
He tries to look busy, he tries not to slouch
But he can’t do much when he’s stuck to the couch
So when I want to rearrange the furniture I just
say “Clint, come here”. It’s easy.
Now I was supposed to have a stool stuck to
my arse here and I walk around and stuff
but I was too lazy to get it ready
He’s lazy, he’s a lazy boy
The remote control is his favourite toy
You do the dishes or you’re out the door
Yeah like I haven’t heard that before
OK OK
I’ll clean up a bit, I won’t be a loafer
But as soon as she blinks I’ll be back on
the sofa
He’s lazy – the dirty dishes go in the sink
He’sa lazybones – and the dirt goes on the
floor
'Cause you wouldn’t put the dirt on the bench,
that’s where the food goes
He’s lazy – he’s a lazy bum
Bum stands for Bludging Unmotivated Male
Oh well at least I’m not a nag
A nag! I think he means the Non-Appreciated Gender
Oo-or touché babe, alright, tell you
what, I’ll take care of dinner tonight – really?–
Yeah, pass the phone –actually, could you
dial the number for me too please
He’s lazy – I’ve got a callus on me arse!
He’sa lazybones – both cheeks
He’s laz-é ______ I’m laz-é
______
I said he’s laz-é ___/\_^__ Fuckin’
hell! I’m lazybones__.
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